THIS IS LYRICAL COMBAT GENTLEMEN HOLD YOUR PISTOLS

Reading through TANK magazine’s Summer 2011 issue & I came across an article that tickled my funny bone. Tom Ridgway’s witty sarcasm is worth a couple minuets of your time. Below is an excerpt from the “Code Overload - The New Wave of CGI Hollywood” article, which pokes fun at the spate of “O’Blivion films” of recent.

Let’s imagine how your day would go if your life featured in an O’Blivion film. First of all, you will put in a normal day at the office, but a few things will be a bit weird, like that man who stared at you oddly as you bought a sandwich. He will turn out to be an angel, working to mess up your life on the orders of God (called the “Chairman” in The Adjustment Bureau, as if heaven were yet another multinational). In the evening you will go to the cinema and, for some reason somehow related to the sandwich man, do something completely out of character, like jumping through the screen. You won’t understand what’s going on for a while, but you’ll have some crazy adventures in a world that looks like yours but isn’t, involving a great deal of inexplicable running around and screaming. (If you’re really unlucky, you’ll realise that you’re in Inception and this whole world has simply been created so that some mummy’s boy can sell his dad’s company: a multiplicity of worlds dreamed up for a hostile takeover. Couldn’t they just have bought the shares?) Once firmly ensconced in your new world, you’ll be assigned terrifying tasks that will allow you to prove your worth against the forces of chaos. For example, you might join Sucker Punch’s half-naked ladies who are busy killing thousands of steampunk Nazis (don’t ask) and a dragon (again). Around this time you’ll discover the limits of your new world and a strange character will finally explain what’s going on – someone like Terence Stamp as an angel in Adjustment (“You only appreciate free will when you have to fight for it”), or Scott Glenn as a WTF character in Sucker Punch whose only job seems to be to turn up and spout platitudes (“Don’t ever write a check with your mouth you can’t cash with your ass”).

Read the whole article Here

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